A Scolding Wife
I married a scolding wife some twenty years ago,
And ever since I've lived a life of misery and woe.
And ever since I've lived a life of misery and sin,
For she'd bang me to the devil for a glass or two of gin,
Oh, she hurries me, she worries me, it is her whole delight
For to bang me with the fire shovel around the room at night.
When I come in to supper just ready for to drop,
My wife she drains the kettle dry while I may drink the slop. And if I say a word, oh, the poker is my doom,
For she’d bang me with the fire shovel all around the room
I says, “My darling woman, I guess I’ll go to bed,”
And scarcely five minutes on the pillow laid my head
When like an angry lion she bursted in the door
And seized me by the hair of the head and pulled me to the floor.
I yelled out meelee murder; the policemen broke the door, And there they found her fleecing me so neatly on the floor. The neighbors they came flocking in, they being in a fright, And if it hadn’t been for them she’d have ended my sweet life.
If fate would prove a little kind and I could have my will, I’d send her for a year or two unto some treading mill,
And if they wouldn’t take her I’d thank them just the same, For I’m sure I’d rather hang myself than ever wed again.
Note: All my brothers sang this song. I do not know where they learned it.